The theme of failure has been cropping up for me recently (🇺🇦 Eddie Shleyner's latest newsletter, Mark Ritson's webinar with The Marketing Meetup and Dee Wicked Creative's incredibly supportive #FemaleCopywritersAlliance). We often see failure as negative, but within business (as in life) it can have a hugely positive impact and is often necessary for survival.
Imagine if we succeeded at everything, every time, first time? Would you be content, feel rewarded, fulfilled?
Imagine if you nailed first job interview and every promotion since. There’d none of those career zigs and zags. (FYI I would have been a Hotel Manager!)
Are you working with the right people if they say "yes" to everything?
Are you charging enough if you're winning all the pitches? (Mark Ritson recommends the rule of losing 1/3 to help assess your pricing and also filter out the cheapskates.)
Are you in your right mind if you don’t have self-doubt? It you honestly feel you’re the best at every job and everything?
What if the ‘one that got away’ didn’t?
Would you have discovered that amazing place if you never got lost?
Humans naturally thrive on challenge. The endorphins and hormones cursing through our bodies are testimony to that. Yes, failure and frustration can lead to disappointment and even rage, but it’s fleeting. I’d argue the greater feeling of accomplishment comes from tough situations. Overcoming mini failures, or almost failing, lasts much longer and spurs us on to greater things.
Scientific development has only been possible because of huge levels of failure - often discovering more answers because things don't work out. Some of the everyday medicines and products were 'failures' (BluTak, Penicillin, Slinky, Velcro), let alone all those delicious culinary mistakes (chocolate chip cookies, Tarte Tatin, nachos).
Witnessing my toddler's development allows some perspective - when I'm not too emotionally invested. From an early age, he’s dealt admirably with setback and failure. His natural (and evolutionarily essential) resilience makes him dust himself off and try again.
Interestingly, it's only more recently he's getting increasingly frustrated when he's unable to do things - is that linked more to his early formation of peer pressure? However, with a little cajoling, he's getting there. Rather than giving up entirely, he's also learning (probably more importantly) where his current limitations are, and when to ask for help.
The same applies to the writing process. When I write, I always review it, redo it and ask for help.
Help can be checking the dictionary, reviewing the thesaurus, bouncing an idea around with someone. Or, searching for supporting data, sense-checking a sentence or getting a full proofread of my work.
I use the 'Read Aloud' function to check things flow properly. And I often leave things to 'percolate'. I'll wait a few hours, or even days until some of the detail comes into focus and I tighten things up.
So, what I’m trying to say is - clients never get my first attempt. It might be version 1, but I’ve been through various failed attempts.
And I always try to learn from my failings. Feedback as a human is good, but as a writer it's invaluable. I can only improve when I know what’s wrong, inaccurate or needs work.
But a word of warning - pointing out others' failings needs to be done sensitively, with humanity, and feedback should always be constructive. Challenges improve thoughts, understanding, and writing.
By identifying and accepting our failings, however small, we get better.
Many of my earlier failings stay with me today - persistently misspelling necessary, confusing effect and affect. My university dissertation started as a comedy of errors – thanks Mum for the proofreading services!
The snide comments or patronising pull ups hurt me, but didn’t teach me. However, the supportive advice and tips did. I regularly recite the mnemonics and tricks to check. I even have a personal 'trip list' which I update with all the common problems I spot (or other people spot) in my writing.
We all have brain black holes that never seem to fix - I always want to write 'upto' even though I know it's wrong! But it's important to identify what they are to avoid falling into the dark, endless vacuum of fear – or simply looking a bit silly.
So, carry on failing, making mistakes, feeling a little inferior, and learn from it all. Continue developing, improving and getting stronger.
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